day by day.

days fly by and nothing tends to change. i seem to have less time to do things I enjoy and more lines added to the to do list of "getting my life back on track".  but tonight I feel rather different, I actually feel OKAY with it all.  nothing is ever going to be perfect, and for some reason theres a part of me that is disappointed with myself and with all of my imperfections.  when society is telling you one way of doing something, and your life just isn't following along, what is one to do? take life day by day. i'm going to have the ups and downs, i'm going to be sad some days and unexplainably happy others.  i have dreams and i'm determined to reach those dreams and that's all that should really matter to me.  i hate wasting days without a smile on my face trying my best to keep up with it all.  relaxation and happiness is a part of life so many of us miss out on, and i've never been willing to do so, that is until REAL life slapped me in the face and had to spend every waking moment putting it all back together the best i could.  i'm a long way away from being where i'd like to be, but ya know what?  i'm okay with it.  i don't need to have a 9-5 job holding me down right now, i don't need to have more money then i know what to do with (would it be nice? of course, but things work out differently for different people) this was all in my plan.  i'll stay as positive as possible, and walk down my own road. i'll be impulsive and probably make many more stupid mistakes. but i promise to learn, enjoy, and flourish from lifes bumps. because when my road comes to and end, i want to look back on it and say...sure i could have possibly been the dumbest 23 year old i knew but having fun was always in my vocabulary and a smile never left my face. : )

so although our lives may be different. yours may be working out just as you had planned, and that's wonderful.  but when you look at me don't wonder, just know...my life is anything but boring.