secrets within.

i tend to keep my life a secret, even from myself at times.  i've found it easier to ignore reality, then to face it head on and attempt to find closure.  possibly because closure isn't at all what my fairy tale ending would entail. my life was recently flipped upside down.  i went from planning my future, to not understanding my present. i can barely come to terms with the term divorce.  it wasn't in the plan and who knows if i'm strong enough to stray away from "what's supposed to be".  so here I am being honest...i'm DEVASTATED.  through the tears that are blinding my sight, that's as far as i can get tonight.  i said it. it's over and i'm devastated.


goodnight world.

Quicky.

motiviated.
to make a change.
break down the walls of this society.
overcome the negative in order to make positive.
<3

today. yesterday. and tomorrow. i vow to become a better person.
just a thought or two based on an experience that happened last night.

 

a new day : )

I'm happy to be awake early enough to enjoy a little bit of sunshine before i have to stuff my face, run some water through my hair, and hit the road to allow enough time for my 40 mins construction filled drive to work.  I tend to have nights where my emotions are all over the place.  My brain and heart are a tangled mess lately therefore i burst into tears with a little bit of sappy background music in the background.  My life is like a black and white slide show with a different emotion clearly showing on each slide. Bipolar, maybe?  Or else I'm just going through a difficult time and therefore don't have the stability of a normal human being.  Either way, today, I yet again am reminded that tomorrow is a new day, and I've woken up with an uncontrollable love for life and drive to succeed.  So although my problems haven't been magnified on here, it's only a matter of time.  The slideshow doesn't stop, and tears will soon enough soak my t-shirt again and four day old mascara will run down my face.  At that point, my soul will be vulnerable and you may find what I have to say interesting.  Until then though just know I'm ready to have a fabulous HAIR day (as my greatly missed coworkers would say at creative images) : )

it all has to begin somewhere.

welcome. i guess. : ) i'm not certain on how to use this, nor do i know if even one of the millions of bloggers will ever read this, but i find a sense of security knowing this is a place i can come to express every inch of my being without judgement.  let's see how it goes, join me on this journey we all call life, cause baby this is only the beginning.